Sunday, November 23, 2008

Frankenfish

Song - Drive - Incubus
Status - Up all night

Beware the Dangers of Very Large Fish. Make that genetically engineered fish.

I agree with Jaime that Frankenfish ranks right up there with the worst of the worst B movies. I have to go back on my earlier assertion that B movie didn't stand for bad movie. So in this case, it stands for really BAD movie.

Instead of sleeping (which I really should have been doing because I have to drive a long distance tomorrow...oops...make that today) I ended up watching the oh-so-thrilling movie Frankenfish.

I'd seen bits and pieces of the movie over the years... Well since it came out in 2004. I can even claim to have seen parts of Snakehead Terror starring Bruce Boxleitner. It, also, made its appearance in 2004. I guess Hollywood had a run on fish phobias in 2004.
The terrifying Snakehead. A person could do the Wedding March faster than these fish crawl.
Not quite the teeth that would strike terror into the hearts of houseboat vacationers.

Anyway... Jaime reminded me of Frankenfish, so I decided to give the movie a perusal. Besides, the TV was on, what else was I supposed to do? I can drive with one eye closed, really.

As I watched these poor people try to outrun large jumping fish with really wicked looking teeth I decided these were some of the best actors in Hollywood. They actually looked afraid. And who wouldn't be. Their house boats were sinking! And the water was filled with really huge piranha... Oh wait, that's another movie.

Back to Frankenfish... The pretty girls, the stock drunk guy, the older lady and her friend were in DANGER. Creak, gurgle, tilt, creak some more. Slow, scary music, a little more tilting. "Oh no. The fish are sinking the houseboat!!!!" We are sooo not going to make it. Thud. (Fish breaking through the side of the boat) Bubbles coming up through the water.

Then, inexplicably the boat levels out, stops its creaking and gurgling while the rescuers show up and get taken out by the genetically enhanced fish. That's when we find out that these fish had been made like this so they'd be a more sporting hunt. Ya think? Who comes up with these plots? I've got a really good plot book I can lend them.

I had more fun, earlier, watching the movie Doom, based on the video game where guys go through a tunnel to get to Mars and fight genetically altered people. Hmmmmm.

Well, anyway, Karl Urban is a lot more interesting than fish punching holes in house boats. Yummier, too.
I still have to see Pathfinder. Haven't had the chance yet. But there's a whole week ahead to see some of the movies I've missed. Totally have to catch up on my Karl Urban movies. It's like a fix.
But then I really like a good looking guy with a sword.

2 comments:

Lori-ann said...

Oh boy Mom. Have you seen "Dragonheart - A New Beginning"? That's a "B"ad movie too...

Jaime Theler said...

Now that's some real writing talent, to move from Frankenfish to good looking guys with swords. And yes, in this case B movie stands for really, really, really BAD movie.